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In response to the new policies on Goodreads, I have snagged a vacation home on Booklikes. You can find me there, as the Moonlight Reader. I will still be blogging over here, but for followers who are active on booklikes as well, I’d love to see everyone over there.

So far, I haven’t found a lot of classics readers, so my feed is YA heavy (not that there’s anything wrong with that!

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I have run
I have crawled
I have scaled these city walls
These city walls
Only to be with you

But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for
But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for

[a brief thanks to U2 for the use of their song lyrics]

I am continually bemused, befuddled and bewildered (occasionally even bedazzled) by the search terms that evidently bring people to this blog. A lot of them make sense to me, and most of them are directed at a specific post that I wrote almost a year ago. They are obviously search terms that are designed to find that exact post, drafted by people who have already read it and want to read it again, or heard about it from a friend and are looking for it. These include terms like: criminalizing abortion, fetal personhood, personhood impact on prosecuting crimes, etc.

And then, there are these.

confused scooby

1. mindy derryberry catron gettin fucked. Yes, seriously. I have absolutely no idea how that search term gets people to this blog. But, get this, it’s been used twice. Two people searched for that? Which begs the question: who is mindy derryberry and why is catron, well, you know. Answer: I have absolutely no idea.

2. jon stock survived mauling: Really? Is that a person named Jon Stock? And just who (or what) mauled Jon? I have never, not even once, to my recollection, used the word “mauling” in this blog. Four people used that search term to get here. And, Jon, wherever you are, congratulations on surviving a mauling. I’m genuinely glad that you did.

3. sisterly bondage in jane eyre. I get a lot of traffic from my posts on Jane Eyre. But this has got to be the strangest search term by which Jane brought someone here! For the record, I think you may be looking for a hopefully non-existent book called Fifty Shades of Rochester. And, no, I am not encouraging anyone to retell Jane Eyre with a BDSM flair. Shudder.

4. did laura ingles [sic] wilder meet anne shirley. Well, no, I don’t think so. One of them was a real person, and one of them was a fictional character.

5. good looking dead authors. Chortle. Giggle. Sputter. Have you seen a picture of Tolstoy?

6. wilkie collins mutually assured destruction. So, I’m not sure how Wilkie Collins, Victorian author, became conflated with the cold war doctrine of military strategy that posits that no superpower will use their nuclear capability to engage in a first strike because of an expected result of immediate irreversible escalation of hostilities leading to world destruction. However, I’m sure that whoever was looking for information on Mr. Collin’s promotion of MAD did not find it here.

7. demonstrative church my father my father. I’ve got nothing here. Nothing.

8. anne shirley annoying. I can understand how this search term got people to my blog, but I have this to say: No, she isn’t. She’s lovely.

9. riders of the purple haze. Why, no, I did not write a post about Zane Grey’s epic tale of bong hits, cowboys and babes. I think you are looking for Cheech and Chong’s Up in Smoke. Thank you for checking out my blog anyway.

10. les miserables word cut out. This person has clearly never read Les Miserables. Victor Hugo did not believe in editing. He believed in adding words, not deleting them.

In any event, however you got here, welcome. I hope you find the answers you are seeking.

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